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The most useless I ever bought for the van I think was the insect fryer, you know one of those things you plug in and it sizzles insects when they land on it. Bought it, thinking, not a bad idea, put it in the van and then instantly felt sorry for the flying midges and moths that connected with it and immediately switched it off never to turn it on again lol.

Normally I'm heavily into upcycling but I just can't work out now what to do with this damn thing. 

Always good to meet a fellow bumbler!

Whereabouts are you now Claude?

Not paid a single penny in income tax for the best part of 2-3 decades. There is no law actually stating you have to pay it. Of course there is the income tax 'act' (not law) which tries to hoodwink the public into believing they must pay personal income tax but as with many of these acts of parliament, it's not what is in the act that counts, it's what's not in the wording of the act that actually counts. And in that act of parliament you will not find the words compulsory, mandatory or obligatory at all.

Same in the U.S. The IRS is a complete scam because there is no law in the country stating that it's citizens must pay personal income tax.

Should have bought an LDV.

So what exactly is wrong with you? Pray do elaborate. Don't tell me, you were sunning yourself naked in the sun in France and got your cock caught in the door when you slammed it shut cos you were pissed again. 

What on earth are you blathering on about ya bloomin' daft apporth? Trust you ya ruddy great plonker to turn up out of the blue. 

I'm strictly a US guy.

Just out of morbid curiosity...what is a 'strictly US guy'?

Anything is possible if you've got the money to invest in everything you want but if not, you'll have to do what the rest of us do and make do with what you can.

Solar panels on the roof, whack as many high wattage panels on the roof as you can and get a decent 30amp solar charge controller and a good pure sine wave inverter (paying attention to the wattage plus surge wattage).

The fridge will run at about 35 watts per hour. Tip: Use a cooler box instead as this will keep things fresh for the day. Yes I use a 12V fridge but I never switch it on even on hot days as the insulation is so good it will still keep my milk and food fresh without the need to power it.

Laptop will also run at about 35 watts per hour. Make sure you use a pure sine wave inverter or your screen will flicker non-stop without it which will be incredibly annoying.

Electric burner to cook on? Forget it. It's not an option. This is daft thinking. Use gas (despite your aversion to it) just open a window or door to ventilate and minimise this problem. A 13KG FloGas bottle will last years. Mine is still 3/4 full and it's been used for 3 years for £20.

An electric desktop fan will run at about 25 watts per hour. Yes I have one but it is very rarely used. This might change as I head further south in Europe.

For showers just buy a 10L pump action garden sprayer. These cost about £15 on eBay. Chuck some warm water in it, pump it up and stand underneath the gun. Works a treat. Dead simple.

Beard trimmer. No problem running on solar.

Lights - LED. Tiny wattage. Fine with solar.

I use 2x 80watt solar panels on the roof of my van connected in parallel to a solar charge controller inside the van. Two wires +/- connect directly to a 12V ordinary car battery to charge it up for my electrical needs. In my case I highly recommend the Bosch S4 car batteries available at a vehicle breakers for about £15 each. Or just buy the biggest heaviest ones you can, 2-3 of these would be good. There is no difference at all between the majority of so-called deep cycle leisure/marine batteries and ordinary car batteries. The former just have a differe4nt fancy sticker on them to push the price up exponentially. (If anyone disagrees with me on this point, don't bother arguing the point. I've heard it all before).

80watt solar panels are now on eBay for about £70 each including post.

Stick them to the roof of your van using Sikaflex 291i (£10 a tube including post on eBay). Make sure to leave a 2" minimum gap between the bottom of the solar panels and the roof of your van. Details about this can be found on my blog below.

A solar charge controller either 10amp or 30amp can be purchased on eBay from about £6 upwards. You'll only need one.

Look on my blog, link below for ideas how to do up your camper van on the cheap. Some of the ideas there might help you. I'm currently writing a book too on the same subject which will be available for sale very soon.

You just gave me an idea (using Kickstarter) as I'm trying to save enough money to fund helping some of the Mediterranean refugee's in Europe.

Good thinking lass. Nice one. I thank you for the idea. You might just have saved my bacon.

Btw your link doesn't work properly, here it is in full:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/theoffgridartist/the-off-grid-artist

Building sites are probably your best option. Have a chat with the site foreman and ask him or her if you can dive into the skips on site for any offcuts.

This is what I did and just one skip pretty much yielded all the Kingspan insulation I needed and all for free.

30C here in west Cornwall. Chilling out on the beach sipping margarita's lol.

Blimey Mike we thought you'd kicked the proverbial bucket, it's been so long since you put in an appearance here. Obviously your lass is keeping you 'busy'.

Love your woodburner. Glastonbury Burners are the best. What a lil beauty.

Keep us updated Patrick.

Blimey lad. What an intro lol.

Use some bloomin' white space for heaven's sake. Split up your text only it'll make for easier digestion (reading). Spoken like a true Celt. A fantastic waffle if ever I saw one. A chuckling Cornishman.

On a more serious note... where is this website? Can I have a gander at it please?

Good to see you here.

Tally ho,

Mark